So loves, here is the deal:
Life has been hard lately. I see so many people in pain and struggling, and it is hard to keep being thankful when there is so much sadness. It is hard to see people hating who they are and what they have done, and it is hard to see that they think they are the only ones that feel this way. If you are in pain here is what I want you to know:
It is going to be OK. Maybe not today, tomorrow or even three weeks from now, but there are good days ahead. You will smile again, you will laugh, and you will love again.
You are perfect right now, in this moment, without changing one thing about yourself. We all have flaws, we are all broken, and we are all perfect even with our flaws and imperfections. There is no need to change who you are, God loves you just as you are. The way to love yourself is to be OK with those flaws. To recognize them, and accept them, just as you accept them in others. Those awful feelings that come when you examine your flaws, feel them, accept them and then move on. Do not allow your perceived shortcomings to drive you to addiction and acting out. Move on.
You are not the only one that feels badly about themselves. We all feel that way at times. Every person you meet and encounter has their own bag full of insecurities. You are not alone.
If you have someone in your life that loves you, they need to love you with all of your flaws. Otherwise, they do not love all of you. Life is short, surround yourself with people that love you.
We are not guaranteed happiness in this life. There will be good days, there will be bad days, and the majority of days will be a little of both. However, you do deserve peace in your life. If you do not have peace in your home, make the changes necessary to achieve it. Sometimes this means leaving a situation, or demanding action from others in your life. Do it, because you are worth it.
Ask for help when you need it. It allows others to take care of you and to do Gods work.
Give help when you can. It makes it easier to deal with life when you have done something good.
Love the people you love. Tell them. Show them. Every single chance you get.
When you have behaved like an ass, own it. Apologize, make amends and then move on. When you grovel, you do two things. First, you begin to manipulate a situation by making it about you. Second, you give the person that you wronged only one option...they must punish you further because you have insisted on it. Enough, move the F on.
Do not be a martyr. If a situation is not working, leave. You are an adult, you know what is best for you. Do not worry about what people will think of you. The people that truly love you will not care.
Do not allow others to be an expert on your feelings and thoughts. You are the expert on You, always.
Being an adult is hard because the mistakes and missteps that we make have consequences that reach far and wide. But you have only one chance to live your life to the fullest, take that chance and make the most of it.
XOXO
nik
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Friday, September 7, 2012
So, what do you do?
Not so long ago, someone asked me what I did for a living. I told him happily that I am a stay at home mom. He responded "That is a shame, you seem like such a smart woman, and you aren't contributing anything to society!" I was stunned. I could only look at him with a blank stare on my face while silently choking back my rage.
I am here to tell you that I fully support each families decision to raise their children however they see fit. I applaud working parents that somehow juggle it all, I support my fellow stay at home parents that do what I do, and I flat out swoon over working single parents, that have no choice in the matter, yet go out and make that shit happen every day. We are all doing the very best we can for our children, each and every one of us.
Now here is my response to the "gentleman" that feels I contribute nothing to society.
Dear Sir,
I am sure you did not mean to offend me when you gave your opinion about how I contribute nothing to society. The fact remains that I am shaping young minds on a daily basis.
I am the parent that sits at the homework table making sure my children not only do it all, but understand completely the lesson that the teacher taught in class...see that there, I'm contributing to my child's education.
I am the parent that volunteers in the classroom, not just for fieldtrips, but to help students with their small reading groups, organize homework, quiz students on math facts, and sometimes CLEAN the classroom...see that there I am contributing to YOUR child's education.
I am the parent that helps out in the library, at recess, and wherever else I am needed to fill in because our aides have been cut...see that there I am contributing to fixing the budget shortfall.
I am the parent that applauds for ALL CHILDREN when they receive an award so that they know there is an adult that has seen their achievement, and recognizes how hard they worked to reach their goals (I have many pictures on my camera of other people's children holding up awards so that they can be emailed later to parents that would have loved to have been at the awards ceremony, but were unable to get away)...see that there I am contributing to YOU and YOUR child's mental and emotional health.
I am the parent that drives the car to and from activities loaded with other people's children. You would be amazed at the glimpse of their world that I learn about, I know who is dealing with divorce, who is losing their home, who has had a loved one die recently, and who and what our children are afraid of...see that there I am contributing to society by being a support and helping them deal with difficult life issues...a rolling therapy session!
I am the resident that is at home during the day to notice that a strange car is in our neighborhood or that an elderly neighbor hasn't stuck to their regular routine...see that there I am contributing to our communities safety and well being.
I am the "smart woman" that has chosen to stay home and be with my children because it works for our family...see that there I am allowing someone else the opportunity to have a job, because lets face it, if I was interviewing for it, the job would be mine!
Saying that all I do is stay home all day and clean house and cook, is grossly oversimplifying what I do. It would be akin to saying that all people do that work in an office is talk on the phone and send emails. Yes, it is part of what you do, but certainly not all of it! We ALL contribute to society, and we should be mindful that just because something works for one family does not mean that it is a better, or more appropriate way to live.
You sir are an ass.
Whew, I feel better already!
I am here to tell you that I fully support each families decision to raise their children however they see fit. I applaud working parents that somehow juggle it all, I support my fellow stay at home parents that do what I do, and I flat out swoon over working single parents, that have no choice in the matter, yet go out and make that shit happen every day. We are all doing the very best we can for our children, each and every one of us.
Now here is my response to the "gentleman" that feels I contribute nothing to society.
Dear Sir,
I am sure you did not mean to offend me when you gave your opinion about how I contribute nothing to society. The fact remains that I am shaping young minds on a daily basis.
I am the parent that sits at the homework table making sure my children not only do it all, but understand completely the lesson that the teacher taught in class...see that there, I'm contributing to my child's education.
I am the parent that volunteers in the classroom, not just for fieldtrips, but to help students with their small reading groups, organize homework, quiz students on math facts, and sometimes CLEAN the classroom...see that there I am contributing to YOUR child's education.
I am the parent that helps out in the library, at recess, and wherever else I am needed to fill in because our aides have been cut...see that there I am contributing to fixing the budget shortfall.
I am the parent that applauds for ALL CHILDREN when they receive an award so that they know there is an adult that has seen their achievement, and recognizes how hard they worked to reach their goals (I have many pictures on my camera of other people's children holding up awards so that they can be emailed later to parents that would have loved to have been at the awards ceremony, but were unable to get away)...see that there I am contributing to YOU and YOUR child's mental and emotional health.
I am the parent that drives the car to and from activities loaded with other people's children. You would be amazed at the glimpse of their world that I learn about, I know who is dealing with divorce, who is losing their home, who has had a loved one die recently, and who and what our children are afraid of...see that there I am contributing to society by being a support and helping them deal with difficult life issues...a rolling therapy session!
I am the resident that is at home during the day to notice that a strange car is in our neighborhood or that an elderly neighbor hasn't stuck to their regular routine...see that there I am contributing to our communities safety and well being.
I am the "smart woman" that has chosen to stay home and be with my children because it works for our family...see that there I am allowing someone else the opportunity to have a job, because lets face it, if I was interviewing for it, the job would be mine!
Saying that all I do is stay home all day and clean house and cook, is grossly oversimplifying what I do. It would be akin to saying that all people do that work in an office is talk on the phone and send emails. Yes, it is part of what you do, but certainly not all of it! We ALL contribute to society, and we should be mindful that just because something works for one family does not mean that it is a better, or more appropriate way to live.
You sir are an ass.
Whew, I feel better already!
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